My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
40s are totally the cure
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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