so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize