Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize