is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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