I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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