I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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