I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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