dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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