I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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