friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize