playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize