last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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