it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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