just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
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she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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