Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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