break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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