no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
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Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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