how can u be prego again
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize