i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Be still, my beating vagina.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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