Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize