not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize