i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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