we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
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I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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