Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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