Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize