sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize