If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
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He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
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You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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