i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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