No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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