An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize