Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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