I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
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I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
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It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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