why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize