It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
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Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
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i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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