I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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