for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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