I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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