ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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