READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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