We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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