i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize