I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
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My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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