big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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