the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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