theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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