I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm always down for nudity.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize