I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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