I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Randomize