On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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