hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize