Moan for me like Helen Keller
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize