She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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